Funny Insurance Claims

Due to the popularity of my "funny test answers" post, I have decided to do something similar today with insurance claims. When people write insurance claims, they have to write EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED, which can lead to some interesting reading...
              

"Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early.." (Thanks N Bradley)

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

 The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were - Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"                                               

Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature? A: "I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan."

"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."

          "The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"

          "A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"
      
           "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"                  

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."                                                                                                                           

"Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.  

          "I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it."

"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

 "As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before."

           "To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian."

"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."

          "The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him."                       

"I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.                       

 "The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing. "

 "The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal."

 "The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him."

 "I bumped into a lamp-post which was obscured by human beings."

            "The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week."
                           
           "I knocked over a man; he admitted it was his fault for he had been knocked down before."

I was in hysterics when I read these. What do you think?