Disorder In The Courts

As I am sure you can imagine, all sorts of things are discussed in courts by Witnesses and Attorneys. What you might not expect though is that some of the things said are hilarious. Below are conversations that genuinely took place in courts. They are all published in a book called Disorder in the Courts, which is written by a court reporter and is a collection of hilarious interchanges during real trials. The first two are about witnesses giving stupid answers, which you might expect. My favourite ones though are the last two, when despite their education, lawyers still manage to get it very, very wrong. Enjoy!

Attorney: Are you sexually active.
Witness: No. I just lie there.

Attorney: How old is your son, the one living with you?
Witness: 38 or 35, I can't remember.
Attorney: How long has he lived with you?
Witness: 45 years.

Attorney: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Witness: Are you kidding me?

Attorney: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness: No
Attorney: Did you check for blood pressure?
Witness: No
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Witness: No
Attorney: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Witness: No
Attorney: How can you be so sure Doctor?
Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Attorney: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
Witness: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law.