Disorder In The Courts

As I am sure you can imagine, all sorts of things are discussed in courts by Witnesses and Attorneys. What you might not expect though is that some of the things said are hilarious. Below are conversations that genuinely took place in courts. They are all published in a book called Disorder in the Courts, which is written by a court reporter and is a collection of hilarious interchanges during real trials. The first two are about witnesses giving stupid answers, which you might expect. My favourite ones though are the last two, when despite their education, lawyers still manage to get it very, very wrong. Enjoy!

Attorney: Are you sexually active.
Witness: No. I just lie there.

Attorney: How old is your son, the one living with you?
Witness: 38 or 35, I can't remember.
Attorney: How long has he lived with you?
Witness: 45 years.

Attorney: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Witness: Are you kidding me?

Attorney: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness: No
Attorney: Did you check for blood pressure?
Witness: No
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Witness: No
Attorney: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Witness: No
Attorney: How can you be so sure Doctor?
Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Attorney: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
Witness: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law.

A Surprising Read...

Compared to most teenagers, I read quite a lot of books. But I have never really understood why people read plays until now. Even reading "Streetcar Named Desire" in the summer holidays didn't encourage me to read any more. However, that has now changed. Whilst I was in the performing arts block at college, I stumbled across shelves of interesting plays, mostly written in European countries and translated to English. I picked up one that looked interesting called Blood Wedding by Lorca. 3 pages in and I was already hooked. I have read 2 out of 3 acts and cannot wait to go and finish it in first period tomorrow!

I guess I always thought that with just the speech to read and no description as found in books or costumes and scenery as seen in stage performances plays would be dull to read. But actually, if they are well written with good storylines, they can be just as exciting. If fact, I like the fact that some things are left to the imagination. Also, without the description, they are much shorter, so make good quick reads. I think I will be reading more plays in future!

The Best Lyrics

Previously, I have posted playlists on here that are perfect for certain occasions, or feature a certain genre. This time, I have created a list of songs I think have amazing lyrics. This can be for a variety of reasons. The first group are songs that make you think, the next are beautiful love songs (unusual ones you might not have heard before) and finally the last group are ones with more fun, comical lyrics. As the focus is on the lyrics, the hyperlink to each song takes you to a lyric video.

Him - Lily Allen
A Team - Ed Sheeran
Blasphemy - Robbie Williams
Flaws - Bastille
Half The World Away - Oasis
Come Undone - Robbie Williams

Wildfire - Seafret
Who'd Have Known - Lily Allen
Wake Me Up - Ed Sheeran
Song Bird - Oasis

Foundations - Kate Nash
What a Buzz - Olly Murs
Rockstar - Nickelback

Derry Girls

16 year old girls, boys, nuns and the IRA. What could possibly go wrong?

E4 new comedy Derry Girls is only 2 episodes in and I already can't wait for the next episode. It is set in Ireland's Londonderry during the troubles, and centres around 4 teenage girls at an all girls convent school. But due to one of the friend's habit for finding trouble and the problems faced by the town they live in, their lives are rarely peaceful, and the chaos that follows is hilarious.

The 4 characters are all brilliant. You have the trouble causer, the one that is always panicking, the spaced out one, and finally, someone verging on sanity who tries to hold things together. Oh, and the English cousin who is slightly lost among so many girls! Together, they make funny yet believable storylines. It has been so popular that a second series has already been confirmed.

Here is the trailer below:

Derry Girls in shown at 10pm on E4 every Thursday night, and you can catch up on the first two episodes on E4.

Surviving The First Week Back

I have survived block week! My psychology mock was only 45 minutes long. I think her "The world will end if you don't pass this impossible exam" speech was just to scare us into actually doing some work. I find it a little annoying that they mislead us on purpose! Although it had a limited effect, so I think we may get death threats next time. At least I know to take it with a pinch of salt.

After that, I had a couple of days off, so I went shopping for the day and bought a very nice black lacy off the shoulder top and a new eyeliner with some Christmas present money. Next time there is a college band night I am ready!

Then it was back to college for a day of Graphics where we had to create our final piece (scary) and a more chilled out day of Photography where we worked on our digital sketchbook. Monday is back to normal, which is a shame, because I liked having a 3 day week!

Do you ever have teachers implying a test will be harder or more important than it is?

My Christmas Read

I got two new books for Christmas this year, and I have read both of them already! And one of them was John Green's latest release, which I think is well worth you reading.

The book is called Turtles All The Way Down, and is quite different to his other books. Gone are his usual badass girl and wimpy boy characters from Looking for Alaska and Paper Towns, and even more shocking, there is no mention at all of "how to live life to the fullest", which is his usual theme of choice. Instead, we have something that might actually be original.

Don't get me wrong, I love John Green Books. But they do tend to be quite similar to each other and although that does not stop me obsessing over them, it was nice to have such a refreshing change.

This story focuses on a 16 year old girl called Aza, who is a long term sufferer of Anxiety. And this is what makes this book so unusual, as the book tells you exactly what it like to suffer from a mental illness, which is very eye opening. Along side this, there is a very complex plot involving a billionaire's son, a national manhunt, lost family members, astronomy and falling in love, as well as the usual teenage dramas about working out what you want to do after school finishes, friendship and family. But it is the thought by thought account of how anxiety invades your brain that really set this book apart.

I recommend this book to all teens 14+, as although it had less adult content than his other books, it still has some quite grown up themes. Let me know in the comments if you read it!

A New Year Ruined By Mocks

It's 2018, and unfortunately for me, this new year of potential greatness is being kicked off by my first ever A level mock. And it turns out they are a lot harder to revise for than GCSEs, because even though I am only revising one subject, there is still so much to remember! 

For each of the case studies, you have to remember every little detail, including all the exact statistics for the results of each study. At the moment, we only have to know 5, which is bad enough, but there are 20 in total! Luckily for me, the second part of the test, research methods, is easier because I studied GCSE Statistics, but I am still a little panicky. 

The good thing is though, it is so much easier to remember when there is only one subject. And my new college is a lot less forceful with their idea of a revision plan than my school was! Not that my mum played along with their rules anyway, but still.... nice not to be told your only day off is Christmas day! Do you have mocks?